Saying Yes
Do you ever say yes to something you know you don’t want to do? Why do we do that? Is it out of obligation? Guilt? Desire to please? I find so many people saying yes to things and then they dread doing it. Here is a question to ponder. If you asked someone to do something for you, they agreed and then secretly hated doing it, would you want that? So, why do we do it in reverse?
Saying no can be hard. It can create friction and difficult conversations. We are faced with choices all day long. When we say yes to something, we are also saying no to something else and vice versa. The key to living a balanced life is figuring out your top priorities and then weighing your decision to do something against those priorities to make sure they align. When we are out of alignment with our priorities, our life feels out of balance and off kilter.
It is helpful to sit down and really give some thought to your top three to five priorities. What are they? Write them down. Now, look at that list. Are they really your top priorities? If not, change them. You want to feel connected to them. Put them somewhere that you are able to reference them. Maybe put them in your phone, on your screensaver, or in your notes.
The next time you are tempted to say yes to something, pull out those three words and ask yourself, “If I say yes to this, does it fit with my top priorities?” If it does, say yes. If it doesn’t, you really need to ask yourself, what your motivation for doing it is.
Far too often, we routinely say yes. When we want to accomplish big life dreams in life, these yeses start to deter us from getting what we really want. Action is the only way we are going to have forward momentum, so it is important that we are intentionally saying yes and no. Time is a valuable commodity. We start to realize that as we get older, have a partner, a child, a full time job, and everything else that fills our day. Forming boundaries around what you are willing to do helps safeguard your time.
If you want to free up time, exercise more, spend more time outdoors, with your family, by yourself. If you want to build a new business, start a new hobby, learn a new sport. All of this takes time. Look at your calendar for next week. Have your list of priorities next to you and go through each item, weighing it against your priorities. What can you cancel that will free up time to do what you really want to do? Now cancel it, cross it off, delete it off your calendar. How do you feel? It takes some getting used to, but you will find yourself with a calendar that fills you with joy rather than one that makes you dread the week ahead. I suppose we could call this Marie Kondo’ing your calendar.
